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My Shadowed Realm

I used to be the one finding the forever in the temporary things, ignorant of the cruelties, or in other words, the realities of the world. The mansion I created myself years ago was unaware of the pains the world gives at different times; neither was I given one nor ever attempted to go in-depth. Unmindful of the ferociousness, I kept heading forward, never knowing if the world could ever throw me in the place from where I could have nowhere to move toward for refuge, nor any sign to make a journey, or it would standstill my life in the way I had never ever thought of.

The fragile mansion couldn’t come to terms with the merciless outside world and got wrapped in the thunderstorm, which retained in the play to enfold everything that came in its way. Time came when life showed its darkest side, directed hurdles in my way to deal with, and kept snatching what meant the most to me.

I dealt with the things, endured, and one after another, life catapulted blocks on my tracks. With time, I found every track bundled with barriers waiting for me. This all woke me up and threw dreadful circumstances in my face, but something made me stick to my strength and move forward. It blocked all my ways; I kept trying. With the passing of time, I appeared to be losing whatever strengths were left to me. All the light I once had vanished with the blink of an eye, and there I was positioned standstill, empty-handed, alone, and destroyed.

For years, tears continued rolling inside my eyes; it was all perfectly hidden. The path where I was standing, I had no companion at all. Life did the worst as much as it could. But each and every failure of my life made me stronger and stronger.

I got ruined, and nobody ever noticed, as it was insignificant or maybe mediocre to them. I got ruined in a way that nothing could ever help me to get back to normality. The trust I had in the world was lost, the ties I had with others got disconnected, and I was lost somewhere where nobody could have ever reached out to me, or maybe nobody ever got the track to reach. Unconsciously, I went to the place where I had nothing except me. All I had to be dependent on was me or God. It was all I had. Physically I was still in the world, but mentally and spiritually I was at some unspecified place where there was none, where there was all the darkness around me, a place from where I have never returned back. I couldn’t find any track back to the place I once lived, nor did anybody try to bring me back; actually, they never perceived that I was lost and needed to be brought back.

Everybody in the world is lost somewhere; they aren’t mentally here as I was never here.

Returning back to the tragedy, life took what I once considered permanent, and the scars of that won’t ever leave me alone. It brought me to my knees and broke my pride, my attitude, my belief, and my confidence, but it couldn’t break my will. It threw me in the complete dark where there were no imaginations; only reality stood by my side. Life knew my fears of facing the realities; it pitched me there to face the ultimate reactions of reality and live by it through the rest.

Years passed, and I began accepting things as they were. I believed this was all life had planned for me, but this too was to teach me something, and it taught me. Nothing could have ever taught me the way it did; it broke my fears—fear of facing realities, fear of darkness, fear of standing alone, and most importantly, the fear of dealing with the obstacles. It enlightened me. In the dark world of mine, it produced an unending shine. It provided me the PEACE and SERENITY that I longed for. I spent years searching for it, and I received it in the most unusual circumstances.

Most of the time, the virtuous things are provided in the most unusual times, and I experienced it.

Life taught me the way of standing alone, dealing bravely; it made me value the darkness, and in that darkness I found my peace. I was being taught that there is no one whom I can be dependent on; I have me, and I have to be myself in order to make it out of the horrific times.

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