ZARA M.

Dear Heart, It seems like I am writing you after ages. Though it has just been quite some time, it seems like decades have passed since I last talked to you.  Things have become a little cluttered on my end. My two very personalities are at loggerheads with each other; I am unable to make a resolve between them. Anyway, the warmth of August has reached its pinnacle, and as it is the last day of August, a truncation in intensity is expected.  September brings new life, putting the old to rest; I am hoping for the release of what remained distressed throughout the summers, and a fresh start to what brings calm. Days of hot chocolate are at the corner, the late-night readings in a cozy milieu, and you at the back of my mind, are ushering in.  Here's to healing what once hurt, Bye.  ~Zara M.

As one door closes, several other doors open. I heard it once and believed only when I encountered it personally.  In life, several aspects emerged that led me to fortify my belief system. As I already deepened my mind training to always welcome even the undesired, I also reinforced my beliefs. It calmed my soul, made me expect less, and helped me to steer clear of disappointments.  In all sincerity, the Divine circle and the pre-ordained matter are something unfathomable, but admittedly, they are supreme. What our mind fails to comprehend at the moment often proves to be unsurpassed, as we come to know later. Divinity decides what is finest for us; we make ourselves settle for less.  Even if gloominess clouds our vision and hides from us the choices that have been made for our good, they remain good nonetheless. It is all about believing first, even before the results become visible, and when that belief is unwavering, the results can be extraordinary.   What we los...

Seeking validation and seeking value are two fundamentally different things. When you demand to be valued by others, it is because you respect yourself, your dignity, and your morals; whereas craving recognition can sometimes be tantamount to seeking attention, which may seem demanding to others. It is often said that your value does not diminish because of someone’s inability to see your worth. Yet, their inability to recognise it can still take a psychological toll on a person, particularly when they have shared a bond with you at some point. To put it rightly, valuing others shows how much at peace we are with ourselves, because when a person is constantly at war with their own self, their propensity to mistreat others rises. Empaths may try to hold it with warmth and understanding, but they, too, are human. If you do not value yourself, you cannot expect others to value you. The respect you receive from others is, in many ways, a reflection of the respect you have for yourself....

Empathy, a profound feature of human life and one of the rarest in today's species, is one of a kind that teaches a soul to commiserate with an unknown soul. It is to understand the nonvocals and try to comprehend them when bleakness is all that is in sight.  This phenomenal element costs one his mental and physical health, as it demands too much of one's prowess and unmindfulness of one's own emotions. When you keep placating people who are emotionally unavailable, you tend to move towards self- abandonment. Though being present for others is a gentle trait, sinking your own ship in trying to save theirs is not very kind to your own self.  I have seen phases where I kept standing for people even when it did hurt me, even when their aloofness caused me severe harm and I lost myself while saving others, but they passed without consequence and a slight gesture of compassion.  Being ever-present shows one's stoutness and painstaking nature for others; it is evergreen, but ...

Shots of whisky  no longer leave a lingering trace, when your name's the risky, intoxicating enough to steal all my grace. The world judges the lover, leaves unseen the impact of a beloved; however, it is the latter spellbinding the lover.   As I am accused of madness, you are the cause no one sees.  As I am beguiled,  you are the wine. Whatever I have transformed into, you awakened; turned an affection into an obsession.  You made me drunk on you, the vino bears your name; it is your eyes, it is my flame. ~Zara M.

The door to the other side.  Where wind carries blue and birds sing, I wait till comes the tide. Here oceans move freely, and the desert is faithful to its own wandering.  Skies are eternally wide, and stars shine bright. I witness nature unfolding into wonder. Flowers bloom here and leaves fall, Spring and Autumn answer the call. Heavy sunlight and cold nights,  Summer and winter align.   There opens another world, Where we sit side by side. The sky is blue, the moon alight; Petals dance in the air, and Birds paint the sky with flight.  The world forgets to speak,  And our souls dissolve into the silence through which the night speaks. ~Zara M.

Silence, though a key at times, is also something that leaves you in an abyss. When you choose silence over chaos, people misinterpret you, consider you at fault, and never know your side of the story.  A woman who lives in the world of literature prioritizes calm over messiness, but that is where things fall into a jumble. She is misread as the one who is wholly incomprehensible of reality and imperfect at making arguments. The world we are witnessing and living in is the one where silence puts you into a black hole, irreversible to return to society. No matter how arduous you try, you are always misunderstood.     Being uncommunicative and a literary aficionado costs you more than you think. I have absorbed in life that not telling your side of the story makes you a culprit, while telling it is something that makes you defensive. Deciding what to choose makes you miserable.  LIFE IS HARD AT TIMES.   ~Zara M. ~Zara M.

Dear Heart, The Sturgeon Moon this August holds something of you. I have witnessed several full moons in my life up until now. There is an Indian tradition of Sahasra Chandra Darshan, where it is believed that by the time a person reaches eighty, they have witnessed a thousand full moons. More poetically, a life of eighty years is a life beneath a thousand full moons; how beautiful is that.  Seeing August's full moon today makes me wish to experience what Indians truly believe and live by the moon. And I wish to witness it under the same sky with you; though apart, but together in our hearts. Deeper still, the moon today is so exquisite, just like the soul I once witnessed, and that could not leave me since then. Today, my heart urged me to observe the moon in its quiet passage beside you. As your presence is fully ingrained into my soul, it is tremendously difficult to look at something this beautiful without finding traces of you in it.    As long as the moon shines, B...

These are the last days of August. It is often said that these are best for letting go and preparing for a change. As September draws near and autumn is about to arrive, change is at the corner; it is the change before the change. Autumn also brings the energy to release and embrace new alignments.  This week of August has brought several ebbs and flows, yet all I want to recall are the spaces it created for the new. The turbulences were real, pains were striking, but my respect for the Divine remains persistence. Acceptance overrides everything in my life. It is widely believed when you capitulate to the universe, harsh seasons begin to soft and calmness takes over.   Let August take what it must, and let September bring what it may. ~Zara M.

The August full moon is at the corner, preparing to be spilled over the terrace. The silver it drapes, the secrets it carries and the prayers it holds are deeply inviolable.  Although every phase of the moon has never turned its face against me, the full phase is highly sacrosanct for me. As I am a person who keeps belief in the stars' alignment, from the Wolf Moon of January to the Cold Moon of December, each appears with its own meaning and significance, and each moon's story and symbolism I keep intensely close to my heart.  The bond I feel with the moon and the stars is inexplicable. Each night, from Sirius and Polaris to Mizar and Alcor, these stars quietly witness the abyss of thought I keep latent, yet somehow entrust to the stars. This August, I am wistfully awaiting the full form of the Moon, not only to observe its silvery and exquisite texture but to whisper to it the tales I haul, and the prayers I hope to utter. Till the full moon arrives, Bye.    ~Zara ...

As we have always heard that time is relative; it is also not constant, it changes. Transmutation is the core element of every day's life; at one moment, there is happiness, and the other, sorrow follows. Things are transient in nature. The universe holds features that are ephemeral; nothing lasts long, whether it is joy, anguish, or grief.  Meditation teaches us to observe thoughts rather than being immersed in every thought and entertaining it. Not every thought deserves our attention and energy. I have gradually learnt several layers of lessons in life and have reached a point of understanding where I am abreast of the fact that letting go is the definitive choice, and it upholds peace.  Different phases of life sway upon me and keep pinching me to the extent that I  lose my mental stability. Through the practice of meditation, I have now grown accustomed to desensitization. For our peace of mind, it is paramount to assume a nonchalant disposition towards life, enterta...

Dear Heart,  Petal Soul I witness you blossom like a rose. Every colour rises when you smile; it seems as though flowers have folded themselves into a face: tulips, lilies, pansies, Arabian jasmine, and roses.  I am so fond of flowers and you that I find you in every petal, and every petal, in turn, leads me back to the spring your existence creates.   Seeing flower shops today, I recalled you and wondered: do flowers bloom because they once witnessed your smile, or does your smile simply bloom into flowers wherever it goes? As flowers settle into dark, they still carry the memory of daylight, just as I carry yours. ~Zara M.

It is a bright sunny day today. I usually enjoy it more when there is sunshine outside, but at times, my heart yearns for petrichor, raindrops, and grey clouds above in the sky.  Today, I find myself renewed and restored from all the thoughts that have kept tormenting me enough in the recent past; I feel fresh today. Perhaps I have commenced to accept what destiny holds for me. If I am to be honest, I find calmness in capitulating to the universe while keeping my sanity intact.  With each warm sip and a gentle golden glow, I breathe in fresh air and a promising outlook, having ceased to compel destiny and instead chosen the path of belief and acknowledgment. Take my word for it: when we cease to exert pressure on God and the universe, that is when things begin to set themselves in motion, embarking upon the path where they were always meant to be. Tranquility prevails and distress fades into oblivion.      ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  It is evening. The raindrops are constantly falling from the sky, as if it is weeping, missing its dearest. The sky is grey. It is August. This is how August evenings are: melancholic and pensive.  The atmosphere inside is as sorrowful as the skies above me. You are dearly remembered every day, but today, the heart feels nostalgic, forlorn, and homesick. It suffers bereftness, it yearns for your softness.   Until the rain carries your name away, Bye.  ~Zara M.

As oceans run dry,  It is a time to try,  As he drifts by, So do I. Things turn to boil; We let them toil. As moments pass by, Our silence replies, And fate denies. ~Zara M.

Dear Heart, Some days I feel like writing an infinite number of words to you, and some days, it is just me staring at a blank page with endless emotions inside me, resisting coming out or struggling to take the shape of words. The topsy-turvy phase I am in at the moment has taken hold of me; some days I am drowning, and the other days, I am floating over the skies, swinging between depression, resistance, and elation.   I am writing to you today with extreme pain inside me, I am not aware of the condition I am going through, all I know is that something is not right in me; perhaps it is my heart.  Not a second passes when memories do not unsettle me; my heart is crushing with unknown sorrow, it may be your departure, words you could not keep or the trust I placed in you.  Tonight, coffee is reminding me more of you.   ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  Not every day is a Sunday. People do not stay confident every day; misalignment occurs, and doubts dominate. The ultimate choice remains acceptance, and releasing oneself from the identity crisis that follows.  Today, with severe heaviness in my chest and head, I am dropping words onto paper. I messed up brutally at a phase in life. Since then my brain is constantly torturing me, to the point of slaughtering every fragment of peace within me.  I have always believed that perfection is overrated and almost perfect is perfect enough. But today, I bungled where I could not afford to; I am half tormented, half dead, and completely unconscious of myself, to the point of feeling as though I barely exist.  My body has stopped responding to me. I am stunned. Whatever I started my day with has left me in mental and physical torment. My very existence has already suffered several miseries recently, and today's anguish has merely added itself to an already establis...

Tonight, I am not I but you are you Whatever happens, just do not forget my presence. For as your departure unveiled  I quietly remained,  though my heart failed.  ~Zara M.

Something notable my existence has comprehended is not to keep clinging to past and to desires. Things come and go, and when you become habituated to releasing, to letting go, and to making space for the new, that is where you begin to live with freedom.    As Paulo Coelho writes, " When someone leaves, it is because someone else is about to arrive,"  unveiling the complexity of the universe: something when leaves, it makes space for something else to fill the void. That is how the universe works, and this deeply layered toil is tough for our small minds to grasp; we begin to distress over what has left, without understanding that its departure may simply be the universe making room for what is yet to come. ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  As life passes, one gets to realize that we see things as we are, instead of what they actually are. Time has trained me, modified, and revitalized me. Whenever I sense negativity in something, I start looking inside myself because that is where things are wrong when outside is not right.  I am glad that such a power has taken hold of me where I can sift through what is bleak and damaging, and that is how I gained my power and peace.  Intellectuality aside, I am seeing your reflection in today's rain, and it is as soothing as softened butter melting over a morning croissant.  Until croissant gets passe, Bye.    ~Zara M.

Old books are the ones abandoned and lonely. They are the books that travel miles to reach us, having passed through several hands before finally finding their way to us. These are the ones no one owns anymore, or those deserted once they have been read. They are, in a way, homeless.  If, in life, we can ever do a small favour by giving them a good home where they are valued and cherished, nothing could be more beautiful than that.  New books are liked by all, what about the ones that were once wanted and are now left behind after being read? They are not less worthy of being read, no less admirable.  Last but not the least, a few used volumes contain notes, written for beloveds by the lovers. They provide a certain sense of comfort, a coziness in holding that book, and discovering these traces of someone else's life. Perhaps that is what makes them special: they remind us of how life circles, how things once loved find their way into other hands, and how stories con...

Dear Heart,  The rain today is calm and comforting, and it is pacifying the wounds inside me. With every sip of coffee, it is you beside me. I have not remained a great admirer of rain throughout my entire life; I had kept it at the periphery for far too long.  As time has passed, I have realized how much I have rendered peripheral; the tenderness the rain drops bestow, which is celestial in nature. Why could my heart not revere the cathartic release rain holds the ability to provide? Late but right, I have understood that nature has one more solace where my heart can breathe.  Until the rain stops,     ~Zara M.

The moment the world reaches its zenith and eternity begins,  the sky reaches its end, and anew beginning spins. I will be standing at the edge, happy to fasten the first page of a new chapter,  with you in it once again. I will meet you at the edge of time, only to begin a new with my beloved.  The world may finally come to rest, yet peace will remain  resting with us, with you, and me,  with us. ~Zara M.

Dear Heart, Sunshine Watching the sunrise today, the sun revealed to me that you had spoken to him about me. I believe he is our mutual listener, listening to both you and me, knowing us all too well.  It is 5:27 am., and I woke to the thought of you, witnessing the sunrise. As the sun wrote upon the sky that you call my name, the heavens surrendered to the rhythm. My day seems to be filled with golden light beyond measure, extra chocolate in my hot chocolate, and a million bouquets of flowers.   The sun sways without restraint, and we both commemorate the morning like a grand celebration. Perhaps every sunrise knows what our hearts have yet to say. In every sunrise, yours. ~Zara M.

The season of peaches and the warmth of August  so close to you, as the atmosphere is rust. The bright sunlight, inside out,  is what my soul craves most.  The warmth of summer is the shadow you leave behind, as the presence is distant, the form is behind. I want to keep you alive, even if i shall do it through fruits, seasons, and months.  For there is you  in every fruit, every season, and every month. ~Zara M.

Flowers, flowers, everywhere; moving right, petals; sliding left, petals. Crowds of people, faces weary. I hear the people, loving words for me, But all I can offer is the silence of me. I witness the love pouring from them;  Where was it all when I needed a single gem? Loud voices calling out my name;  I wonder why nothing feels the same... Seeing them gather, I ponder:  Why did they wait until I could hear no longer?  As things move forward,  I struggle to make a movement,  And I realise,  It was my funeral.  ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  Muffin Reading Thomas Hardy today, I found myself thinking of you. You talked about him a lot to me. Though I have always loved the classics, I had not experienced his world; always knew your taste is well.  Diving deep into a good literature with a cup of coffee beside me, I found you again between the pages. Every word you spoke resonates with me in a way it had never before, and my mind paints a clear sky of you. Feeling your presence beside me, and your smile upon me, my heart asks the heavens for nothing but your reality, for a day when we could sit together and discuss the variations of literature we so dearly adore.  I found Hardy's writing solaceful, slow-paced, immersive, expressive and beautifully atmospheric. I find a quietness within his words that does not rush the reader, but persuades the one to linger a little longer. Similar, I found in Henry David Thoreau's Walden , so smooth, slow, and filled with nature. Every page seems to have a weight o...

Sweetheart, do not make the others wait for ages;  Things grow weary, and taste changes. By the time you realise the love of others, The world grows sore, and words remain on pages. Affection and love are the rare-earth diamonds; Those who fail to cherish are left with silence.   My heart holds the affection a thousand skies carry;  None is treasured, so they are quietly buried. The silver of stars shed with its own timings;  Pearls scatter, and fate keeps rewriting.  Grasp the reality before it is too late;  Love stays, but the universe does not wait.   ~Zara M.

Dear Heart, A dense forest of trees, greenery, and mountains soothes me as you do. Sending you words from the mountains, it is beyond telling how tranquil the atmosphere has become with ink, paper, you, and coffee.  My admiration for silence has deepened with you, as all you have to offer me is silence. Nature's silence resembles yours; I have become fluent in interpreting what nature and you ask of me. Perhaps that is why I have stopped fearing silence, because it is the way in which both nature and you speak to me, and I have gradually learned to listen. Listening has become my favourite hobby because it includes you.  Until the next, ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  Strawberry  The harsh realities of life are often unsustainable, yet when reality strikes, acceptance quietly follows. Leaving it all behind, I find myself living in strawberry fields, where it is only you and me, plucking beautiful red berries fresh from the garden, admiring the little hearts adorned with emerald crowns and tiny golden jewels resting upon them. Their tangy sweetness lingers upon my tongue for long, just as the memory of harvesting the blush that summer had grown lingers within me. My mind finds ease in the thought of you, in the thought of us, living the finest summers, wandering through the gardens and gathering the crimsons.  The reality seems to be fading into the image of us harvesting fruit, and us, side by side in the garden. Until strawberries turn yellow, Bye. ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  Peach Hello again. The daily chores are literally getting tougher with time. Ups and downs come, and it is the beauty of life to keep smiling even when it is at its lowest. Seeing today the golden weight of late summer, peach-laden tress, I felt these little suns resembled the reddish-golden one in the sky just before it rises. They looked as soft, delicate, and lovely as you. A thought crossed my mind that, for the first time, I had come to see you in something other than the sun: peach orchards.  August, carrying warm golden light and the colourful sweetness of the season, mirrors my inner world. Carrying you within me in a season of sun-kissed peaches is what I consider a luxury.  Until the peach tress bear fruit. Bye.  ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  Last night, my heart met you where reality no longer could. I dreamed about you. There were two people, but all I remember is that one of them was you. Sitting in my place, you came in pursuit of me, but a frigid demeanor was visible on my side.  It is completely beyond my reason that, under the grey sky and cold breeze, why I refused to leave? A heart that held sway over me for quite such a time no longer drew me towards itself.  It is often said to my ears that, in order to maintain positivity, one must embrace the contrary of a dream with an upbeat spirit to forestall the gloomy radiations.  I was on cloud nine as it was you who walked in my direction, but dissolved into silence at the air of indifference that I witnessed. Though on my part warmth seemed withdrawn, but it was raw and distressing.     If fate is kind, reality will be warmer and gentle.  ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  Sugar and Sunshine My heart smiles as it hears your name. Sitting alone today in pleasant weather with my two constants: you and black coffee, I find myself thinking about how destiny first brings people together and then pulls them in a hundred different directions. I believe time is everything. Perhaps our time was written to be short, but memorable.  You cross my mind so often; with each bite of my cinnamon roll, it is thought of you I am swallowing. And I have heard that whatever you think of while eating finds a way of manifesting.   The evening is serene today, your absence is what I feel the most. My heart has been quietly calling for you. But then I remember that our caramel conversations are always there, and I continue sending these words your way. Until the coffee gets cold, Bye.  ~Zara M.

Dear Heart, There is a Japanese saying: Cold tea and cold rice are bearable, but cold looks and cold words are not.  The same is what   I firmly believe. Pure hearts deserve the purest form of love but if it remains distant, I am convinced that   letting go is kinder than carrying what was never ours to endure. A time comes when stars cease to shine, flowers wither, and even the brightest mornings surrender to dusk. Writing today reminds me of all the letters I have burdened my heart with over the years; I could not allow myself to abandon the thoughts, even when they lowered my sense of worth. I remember one night when the moon seemed to whisper to me  after witnessing my thousand restless nights to surrender to fate, and loosen my grip on what was already beyond my reach.  With the last bite of my cheesecake, it all comes down to this: sometimes, bitter words and vacant stares, though unintentional, reach the deepest corners of the heart, where healing ta...

Dear Dear, My Heart, My Beloved,  You are the Universe, divinely sacred.  As I gaze upon you, the stars fall before you, the seven heavens bend toward you, and none compare to you. God has given me eyes for you,  you, the beauty; me, the admirer, Together, we become the constellation that shines the brightest. Each midnight, I see us soaring through the skies,  dancing in the air and holding one another throughout the night. As the moon smiles upon us,  I tell him,  You are the one, my only one,   the one who uplifts the two of us. ~Zara M.

Looking up at the rainbow reminds me well, All of it is akin to the shades of one person beneath its spell, A heart in which I fell. The loveliness it carries and unfolds,  Is nothing but what I imagine of you. How can I not admire such grace? Time itself could never erase.  The beauty it enfolds, the tenderness it holds, Are treasures worthy of being preserved,  Just as those of my beloved.   My heart desires equal affection; Even if it remains elusive,  let there be the one in me who continues to love. Admirer I am of the elegance you behold, Waiting for the moment our story is told, You are the one I hold most dear,  Wish for several rainbows,  each revealing more of you. ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  Night Jasmine Speaking to you across these pages, beneath a heavy, cloud-laden night, it seems as the sky might begin to cry at any moment. It is so swollen with rain that it may burst into a thousand tears, much like my heart has been holding lately. If your thoughts keep crowding my mind, it would wander beyond the seven heavens of sanity, to a point beyond return. My eyes would burst into the earth's embrace, and I would no longer have the strength to keep myself from the mud. The nights are growing longer, just as the heaviness within my chest continues to grow. Your absence has grown heavier than the weight of a thousand glasses of whiskey emptied in a single night. Till my next shot of whiskey,  Don't worry, it is still black coffee. ⭐ Bye. ~Zara M.

Dear Heart, My Cookie  I admire you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.  Joking apart, you are my warm cookie beside my cup of black coffee, without sugar. Your sweetness is enough to make every sip sweeter than honey, leaving me more than happy to keep you within my heart and beside my soul.  The weather is changing; August has arrived, and the peak of summer is slowly fading, but not my habit of sending words your way. The leaves are changing and so is the atmosphere of my heart, leaping from the dullness of June to the love of December, and sometimes, to the blossoms of March.  Writing to you today, only to let you know that the evening breeze still whispers your name, melted marshmallows never get tired of speaking of you, and I never seem to have enough of you. Until my next,  ~Zara M.

We belong to a quieter universe: tiny, love-filled, cosmic in its aesthetics, a kind of world where life flows unnaturally,  yet stays, in a way, swinging in eternity. Our worlds obey different seasons, seasons of affection, passion, and devotion.  We keep lingering in them with obsession.  Our warmth, leaning towards the world of words,  escaping together in the written and unwritten, inebriates us beyond reason and into oblivion.   The souls we carry recognise each other, wrap around one another, and settle into forever. ~Zara M.

Dear Heart,  Sunshine I truly long for your soulful proximity. I have grown weary of remoteness, of oceans gone dry, of twilights emptied of their soul, and of sunsets that have forgotten how to glow. In your presence, colors feel more alive than ever; with you, I feel more alive than ever.  I truly believe that if I could ever convey my silences to you, you would understand them. Every silence carries a deeper meaning within itself, one that cannot be interpreted with ease.  I want you to stay with me, even if only in dreams. Give me your tears, your joys, and stay until the other world calls one of us.  At times, I consider myself truly fortunate. I was given the art of writing, of expressing and elucidating what my heart holds, and I found you to write you. I write happily; it relaxes me. It makes me feel as though you are before my eyes, and I am simply opening my heart to you.    With all my silence, ~Zara M. ~Zara M.